Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
When Chuck Norris calls 1-800 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.